Wednesday 16 December 2009

Crab !

I'm always allergic towards lots of food. Crabs being the main culprit! When I was young, daddy always buy us Crab fried Meehoon and I never fail to puke in the toilet every time I ate it. Yeah thats why I hate it everyitme they have seafood at banquet. And sharkfin! Cause it always comes with crab meat. And my body burns everytime I take a sip. But I still eat it anyway. Cause it's Shark Fin!! LOL.

Then one day daddy brings us to a chinese restaurant. Ordered crab and I well, decided to give it one last try. HOLY! From that day onwards, I loves crab! So we took it each and every weekend. That day daddy had a long-time-no-see gathering with few uncle friends, telephone called and booked in advance - crabs. And it turn out to be this huge crab with the enormous and yummy claws - my favourite!




Isn't the claw huge? It was already lying across my plate.



Had to ask help from er ge to break it open. Mmmm,,, licking-finger delicious!

Tuesday 8 December 2009

Messing around

Had been messing round with blog templates therefore leaving myself little time to post new stuff.
Plus had been keeping myself busy with piano up till 4 or maybe 5 hours straight and well, it hurts a little. I had cramps (my hand) *Can u bliff that?* last night making my sleep unbearable. *Yeah had always been complaining bout 'sleeps'*

Life now is even busier compared to my undergrad moments. Ample time for naps and lepak-ing in cinemas, shopping complexes, not to mention yum-char during the weekends. OH GOD. How i miss those time. Sigh.

Sunday 6 December 2009

Big Rolls

Got myself couple of big blue rolls whn daddy wasn't looking. tsk tsk. Im so into perms recently but outraged dat i couldn't do one on myself. too short. Plus its alreay brittle with all the straightenings and mishandling. Last option. Rolls. And wth it's not cheap. I think I got conned ... again. 15 bucks for these.




Does it looks like it needed 15 bucks?


 
Tried that on right after shower. Tadah! no difference.



Looking back, it did curl ... a little.



Blamed PS for her stupid skills, decided to camwhore myself using the enormous mirror.

*Click on pics to ENlarge*

Saturday 5 December 2009

Him


Right at this moment, only HIS shoulders, broad enough,

Voice, soothing enough,

Arms, wide enough,

Words, calm enough,

Hug, warm enough   ................... 


ONLY u, could understand how I felt.

ONLY u, could understand what I went through.

ONLY u, never judge & sees me for who I am.








HOW i wish, U are right here beside me.


<< HIM >>


Thursday 3 December 2009

Saturday Madness

Couldn't sleep ..... again. This is sooo not happening. SO , I ve decided to upload more pics. See how long it's gonna take this time.

5 MINS. wth. why in the world it took me an hour earlier? ape la ni.

Anyway, scroll at ur own risk.



===============================================

First and foremost, as u can see, it's my PROFILE PIC! How entertaining. tsk tsk





Done with the front pose. Now the side pose. Smileesss ^^




Oh god, another try. The previous failed. Show me a V




Satisfied. Next comes the serious one. Oh the aunty opposite me's looking. Prolly thinking wth nuts these gals are doing. You can't blame the young ... lol




I wasn't aware of this. But anyway Litheng started to hide. Giving me all the space to take my bhb shots.




OK! So i've decided to go for another front shot. This time with a prawn. I was chattering away to litheng and peisze and held the prawn for 30 mins long. Poor prawn. 





Last shot. The three of us. LT and PS must have been so relieved that it's over.



Dinner was so good dat night, I ate dam a lot, and everybody at the table was so polite and ladylike. *cough cough* I'm the most shallow person you ever see on that table. Jeez, thinking back, they must had rolled their eyes for like a thousand times. *who cares* tsk tsk

Wednesday 2 December 2009

What is Loving JJ ?

A lot of ppl came asking wat JJ meant, a few interrogated, sniggered when I explained. That's annoying. wth.

Insulted my intelligence dat how the heck I, no WE, came up with such cute initials. Jealous bunch.

Ok, so I've decided to dedicate the entire page to clarify what the initials meant. JJ are two different names. As you guys already knew, Im Jia H*** and my darling Jin ***, ppl call him Jim anyway. And we have a dog, puppy to be exact and wanted to name puppy to represent the both of us. So we came up with JJ, the initials of our name.

Puppy JJ is very cute, and reacts well to the name, JJ. Although puppy JJ listens to daddy more than mummy (in this case, me and jim). From the way Jim treats puppy JJ makes me feels like he's a daddy, a good daddy. And this mummy J just plays with puppy JJ most of the time. So it makes us a happy threesome family.

But anyway, daddy J decided to leave PUPPY JJ with mummy J and mummy J fell sick becoz mummy J is allergic to PUPPY JJ. wth. It sounds weird using third party's name. And well, PUPPY JJ has got lotsa fur and so I couldn't stand and asked daddy J to bring PUPPY JJ back home.

In the end, daddy J kept playing with PUPPY JJ at home and ignores me. And i MISSED PUPPY JJ and daddy J so much dat I kept scolding daddy J everytime I talk to him on the phone.



  Puppy JJ. Our little Precious. Damn cute rite? Some ppl say its a toy and thinks that I'm conning them watsoever. *rolling eyes*  It's a real puppy for god's sake.


This is Daddy J. Looks like he's strangling Puppy JJ. *hiccups*



Last but not least, the Queen of the family, Mummy J. I'v just gotten out of bed and didn't want a camera shoot of my lazy look. Daddy J couldn't get a good shot of me. Serves you right.


And since I've started rattling about JJ and history, the nxt thing i did was to ransack my room for the all other JJ stuff that's in my possession.


This box here is made by daddy J on our 100th day celebration. Why? Because he doesn't have money to buy me a gift so he ended up stealing this box from his kitchen. Decorated the box with all the glow-in-the-dark stickers. It's supposed to be a clock, wth, a music-box with a clock. But when I put it on the plane back from Korea, the custom thinks there's smthing valuable hidden inside *rolling eyes* so they ransacked my baggage and damage it. wth

 
The ring on the right is our JJ ring. He keeps one and I keeps one too. A lot of ppl say it looks very "lou toh" becoz its gold instead of silver gold. But it's very popular in Korea. Ppl thr buy gold instead of silver gold.

I wanted a necklace so he got me one.

And the earring's a gift from the shop coz we spent a lot. But I lost one back here in Msia. wtf

It's taking me wtf long to upload these pics and I'm getting really pissed. Ill just skip and do this another time.

Oh and daddy J is serving the army now. So sad

Beauty and the BEAST PART2

It is so tiring to think about these people. So I totally brushed them out of mind up till a friend called, the victim of Beauty and the BEAST.

I was roaring with anger, cursing and swearing at the back of my head, however dissipates after an hour.

Sat myself down, listened to my favourite song and meditated *slap, kick, tear them apart*. In case I go to the kitchen and retrieve a pair of fork and spoon, and start kungfu-ing.

Talking bout the spoon, I rmb my ex biting a spoon awwww sooo cute ... and I went telling my friends how cute he looked with that spoon. They looked at me as if Im crazy.

Back to when my friend called, *was surprised to receive her call*, but anyway it was 3 in the evening and I was lazing on bed , too lazy to pick up calls.

So called her back and she was telling me bout the sales in town etc etc.

And dis thing surfaced, whn she told me she has a BF. HOLY SHIT.

I was surprised and asked if dah BF is the ex-BEAST. NOLA of coz. The BEAST is wif another beauty. wth he thinks he's ROMEO meh. Den she started blurting out, how f-ing the ex treated her. Even have the guts to KISS another gurl in front of her. (in dah club). In short, dont let ur ROMEO go to clubs wtf. ahhahahahaha. MUTHA *cough* F*****. Uncivilized BAS *cough cough* TERDS. How far can a guy goes disrespecting women? So low-level.

Den she blah bout being frens wif the X wtf.

I was raging with fire laaa, however numb ufta that.

Thinking bck, evybody do STUPID things.

Since she has already moved on, *dats what she said, and which I refuse to believe* However wishing her, her rightful happiness.

Tuesday 1 December 2009

FOREVER Daddy's GIRL

I'm in a bad mood right now, so f-ing bad, and so exhausted coz i was being tormented over and over again. Anyway I have to blog this before my backbone goes all soft.

Daddy is always vehemently against the things that I love. Hv no idea why he's always doing that. Daddy still thinks that I'm too young to make any big decision in my life. Still his little baby in a cradle. How many times I have tried persuading daddy to give me the honor of an adolescent, NO, an adult.

Time and again, he always reminded me the mistake I had done, but it was PAST TENSE, nothing more now. I'm different now. He knows that. Mummy knows that.

ALWAYS terrorizing my decision. How am I to move forward if he keeps doing this. And now, he wants to tie me up here, in MSIA, forcing me back into my Bachelor's uni to further studies for god sake I HATE THAT PLACE, not my UNI, but that place and people DISGUST me already. I don't want to go back. *puke puke* Then daddy wants me to go penang, johor. WHY WHY? I DON'T WANT. Previously we compromised once. I finish my wtf BACHELOR and he let me choose my own GRADUATE studies. Now he's ignoring it, once again! Last time he already tipu me once into that bachelor now he wanna tipu me again. I was hopeless disappointed when daddy mention it after lunch, AGAIN. ALWAYS SPLASHING COLD WATER when i don't need any! I had been a good girl, always listening to him, why wouldn't he give me the chance to get hold of myself, my way?! It's not that I go on all different ways against him. It's not that I go wearing bunny suits, or even bikinis, dancing stupid snake dances, shaking like a whore in clubs. *no offense* I JUST WANT TO CHOOSE A SUBJECT THAT CONFORMS TO MY AREA OF INTEREST.

My voice quivered when I talk to daddy earlier, tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. I couldn't tahan the volume of my voice anymore and raised it a little. Daddy knew and quickly say, "All right, if that's what you want." Then I stampede to my room, upstairs. Crying all the way *tears*. I felt SOOOO bad now for making daddy sad. SOOOO bad that I didn't listen to daddy. I want to apologize to daddy but my ego is eating everything right now. I suddenly feels like a kiddo again. SIGH

Thursday 26 November 2009

Beauty and the BEAST!!!!


I couldn't control myself. I will burst if I don't tell this to someone. My friends are all working now and I'm the only slacking one. When all of them came back complaining how tired they were at work today, I couldn't hold back but to tell them how "goyang-ing kaki" my day was. Sarcastic. I did that on purpose. Who ask you to brag? Stupid. Anyway, back to the topic. Was fb-ing earlier and came across a friend's status. Bunch of hooligans I got to knw few months back. ERRR ..... it's all right to say la. Don't think they will notice this. tsk tsk. SHIT. I alwis have a hard time concentrating on one topic. BACK BACK.

Well, yeah status. I was dead surprised. Went thru the guy and the girl's profile. ONE WORD. wtf. Beauty and the Beast only happens in fairytales. Ya la, although I'm a beauty and my ex a BEAST also. It's stupid, real stupidddd. C'mon I'm pissed because he tripled-play. And with that looks of his? Not fair! YOu should hv seen the guy. Esp when he eats. Takde table manners one, and what ever that comes out from his mouth. Every sentence is inserted with one or even two vulgar words. NO. I'm not the same. My wtf used here does not relate to the swear expression of "what the fuck". I kind of got infected by some friends and esp COUSINS who thinks that wtf equals to only letter w t f which does not mean anything at all. wtf is infectious. ANYWAY, I just couldn't stop myself from gossiping now. NOthing else better to do. Don't bitch if you see this. As though you're a saint and never bitches. BIG DURH. Am I violating fb's policy by commenting out here? NAH who cares.


Beauty and the BEASTTTTT - My favourite FAIRYTALE

Why you blog ??


It's trendy to blog. You are a loser if you don't. LAME, SOoooo LAME. Earlier my bff complained that my blog is not BIMBO enuf. Too emo, too serious. wtf wtf. Then of course la I told her to show me what's the x-rated bimbo blogsss. You know, I don't like to be chinchai with things that I'm seriously obsessed with, which daddy always say it's 3-minutes hot, like hot fast food. But anyhow, I go peeping into those blogs she mentioned, and wtf, I start finding excuses la. So free arrr those ppl? Nothing else better to do is it?

NO offense. It's annoying to see some ppl blogging so amazingly, with beautiful photos, gadgets, colorful pages. But the problem now is, I have trouble looking away from those blogs. Eyes glued, backside glued, mouth wide-open. Ya la, some ppl have got no trouble expressing. MEeeeee??? Of coz I dont too. BUT la dis guy say that my mouth and my brain process at a different time. WTH? So sometimes I just keep my mouth shut, jaga image a little bit mar. piuuttt. SEE? EMO again.

I get frustrated when ppl say I talk or laugh too loud. Like yesterday, when I was telling my koko over some cheap skate stuff, and I got excited, jumping up and down, he have the nerve to cut me off midway telling me that I talk too wtf loud. pisssseddd. Noise pollution smr. Papa's TV is even noisier, louder. My level of frequency cannot cover that ok? He's not the first to tell me this. But what could you do if you cannot control your excitement. Understand "excited"? Get a dictionary if you don't. E X C I T E D. There, I spelt it out for you already. Again, I HATE IT WHEN YOU SAY I TALK TOO LOUD. It's annoying.

Since I've started on this topic, I might just elaborate a little bit more. O yeah, another one another one. I hate it when people pushes my head, either you use your two fingers or even three. It looks stupid when your head gobble to the left and right and back to position. I find this immensely rude. So stop it.

I'll save the rest for another day. Plus I don't have photos to post now.

Saturday 21 November 2009

Thought for a day

At 10 past 12, finally resolving to the last task of the day, BLOGGING. Yeah, again. Nah, I will refrain myself from using profanities or even lament bout how nuts the day had been. Or even mention bout how furious I had been at some Bi*yatch. Piece of cake. *Giggling*. Wanted to spend time over the latest hit movie "2012", to see what the fuss had been about. However, KINDA got ditched, TWICE smr. BASKET. In the end, retreated to online movies instead. Pathetic huh? Sigh. Jeez, gotta get things moving. Had been sitting pretty for the past couple of months whilst paperwork had been piling mountain high on my chest. Breathe, breathe .... *Gasping for air*

Friday 20 November 2009

Piiiisssseeeddd OFF

For weeks, I had been going round in circles, aimlessly. Weeks turned into months. Everything seems wrong. Prolly it wasn't rong, it just wasn't right. Started to doubt myself in many aspect, if this is right, if this is wrong, if I should do this, that etcetera. What the heck happened to me, I kept interrogating. I walk around, without a soul, mind deep in thoughts. All I could say is, dis is one hell of a time. SOMETIMES i wld giv myself a break. It didn't last long. MInutes was it. I wasn't aware, dat I myself, didn't know myself that well. Whatmoreelse some Farking strangers? Profanity it is now.
I reminisced, 5 years back , when i was in my sweet teen, thoughts fair and pure. Everything was white in my sight. No black spots. Definitely not gray. How happie. I want to believe in this. Till the day I got caverned *touch wood! pantang me.lol* However, time and over again, TROUBLE with a BIG S just lurrvveesss knocking on my door. AND time and over again, I never fail to troublesomely get associated with it. Took a step back, forgave TROUBLES, pertained my so-called "Good Nature", branded with "Good Gurrllyyy". WTF!? To be exact, I'm sick of it. PS just said, prolly I wasn't born to live a tranquil life. Well, I did try my best to step out of them, for years. But they wouldn't leave me alone.
I remember-ed years ago, during my first depressing moment, whn fren decided she wld rather get a candy, sold me off, it was den I got myself my first little bb. I knew how betrayal felt like. BB was thr, I got attached, emotionally-attached I mean. Got detached, went thru couple years of self-isolation, turned into a different homo-sapien for god's sake. Recently, a fren decided she would get a candy too, sold me off again. I guess I did hv a Fark-up life.
A friend once said, it wasn't tough facing problems, BUT the courage to confront yourSELF. I'm finding it, the courage he said. I never cease to remember his words for I had endured endless hurtful moments, however , standing UPRIGHT STILL. A big *SIGH*. It is so hard to understand oneself. So obscure. Ppl murmured low, like wind whispering, in my ears, how I shld behave, act, talk. It's a pain in the arse at times. I'm confused, as I am now trapped, low in the BIG 3 "emotionally, mentally, physically" state. Another big SIGH. This will go through, I know, But how I want it to go through? It will soon be over, however obscure, dark it is. HALT! I don't want to walk on for years and years, in the future, and lament that I shld hv done dat instead of dis. How i shape it now shapes my future thoughts, mentally & emotionally.
More time to think? Darn. First thing first. According to the "7 habits of a highly-effective ppl" by Stephen Covey, PUT FIRST THING FIRST. Ppl dont learn, do they? I wld just have to throw all of this behind my head, click on them at a later time. Definitely after graduation. *PRAYING*. Well, after lamenting for an hour, thinking back now, Life isn't that bad afterall. ALL I need is just a genuine fortuitous moment. And prepare myself for future contingency. Happy moments are coming. *BIG SMILEEEEE*

Thursday 12 November 2009

JJ's 11.11

I was to jot this in yesterday, on the 11th day of the 11th month. A day meant for young couples. Doesn't it seem like it? "11" + "11". Definitely some scheme to make money *lol*

I misses this. Where we couldn't even stop arguing, on a day like this. I woke up early that day, heart-poundering, waiting for J. Rearranged my gift, tried making it as artistic as possible, for him and secretly hide it in the cupboard *smiling*. He reached and I pretended to just woke up from sleep; too tired to get out from bed; and asked him to get me something from the cupboard *its lame.hehe*. He opened it, looked at the lower shelves and said "What?". Ok, this totally went wrong. It was suppose to be romantic! Yeah, So I have to repeat myself, and told him to look at the Correct shelf *Rolling my eyes*. He looked, stunned, and turned round to smile. Sat down on the floor, started to open the package and eat. Hey, what about me? Yeah, I was waiting for MYYY present!! I kept silent through the hour, waiting for a SURPRISE. He said it was in his scooter, downstairs. All right! WOO HOO. Quickly got dressed to go lunch. Stood by his scooter, waiting for my prez. He took out an ugly-looking junk, those "Rocky" stuff you could get at the market. And it was bought in a bulk of 5, with endless cellaphane wrapped round it. This is so not happening... Yeah, I did look at him, looking stunned. He started to explain, I wouldn't listen, WOULDN'T BELIEVE. I just didn't want to talk to him. I was raging with fire. Words started to spit out by itself, "How not romantic, you said you have a surprise, this is not happening" goes on and on. Finally, He said "My dad ate it." I turned to look at him, mouth widely-open and before I knew, I burst out laughing. Correction. WE burst out laughing. He bought me my favourite sandwich, with double bacon and cheese, and my favourite strawberry juice. It's definitely one 11.11 that I will rmb for life. Yeah, and pester him over this for life. LOL.

Sunday 8 November 2009

Being a Cancerian

*This is ONLY strictly meant for Cancerians - Taken from biotrend in fb. Check it out*



There's a touch of shyness *Yeah, well?* in the Cancer personality, but it is finely mixed with a more assertive side, which can have them appear somewhat domineering in some situations. Even so, they are usually quite emphatic and responsive to the needs of their surroundings *This explains all CPS. Stop complaining. You're one Cancerian too. Durh*. This sign can have some underlying narcissistic elements to it, which can find a more problematic expression in unstable charts. There may be some gravitation to the limelight, and these natives often like to think of themselves as a kind of princes or princesses. *Applies to some ppl.ROFL*

This sign has active emotions in that they are constantly shifting, changing from one mood to another. At their worst, they may be cranky, touchy, sometimes even aggressive*Quite true*. It can sometimes be difficult to understand, being highly influenced (positively or negatively) by emotional patterns. As such, it can be rather whimsical and quite unpredictable at times.

It's not uncommon for Cancer individuals to have a change of heart half-way into things, however loyalties are also strong and they may stick to things on this precept.

They usually have strong maternal, protective instincts, a kind of mother hen. Family is usually very important to this sign, and these tend to be quite patriotic. They are clingy and do not react well to disloyalty - they usually make bonds which they expect to last forever. Of course, they invest a lot of themselves into these bonds. They are not superficial in most of the things they do. It is one of the more loyal, conscience-ridden signs. It is quite thoughtful *nodding vigorously*, at least while all goes well. It tends to be rather conservative in its demeanor.

Cancer people often long for something exciting and "magical". They are often conflicted between a certain pull to the limelight and the timid, self-protective side of their nature. They can be pretty dramatic, which can work well for the former. Cancer is actually one of the stronger signs of the zodiac. In aggressive circumstances, it is no less capable than the other creeper, Scorpio. It however, mostly does not revel in its sting, and is more preventative. They can sometimes be too aggressive in protecting that which is dear to them, perhaps unnecessarily so. *This is so darn true. Tribute to marv!*

Wednesday 4 November 2009

画沙 / Sand Painting lyrics

画沙 / Sand Painting

周杰伦 - 袁咏琳




午后的风摇晃枝桠抖落了盛夏
我对着蝉认真说话在对你牵挂
晚风轻敲着岸沙浪浪堆积起无暇
我跟纯真载比傻爱上你放不下

这风景如画开满凤凰凤凰花
院子里花撒浇灌着那种情话
等最美的晚霞等故事长大

用手中的流沙画一个你呀
会说过的永远我们一定不会擦
我的青春开始在喧哗
因为大声说爱你而沙哑

用手中流沙轻描着你的脸颊
也答应说好的未来决不会重画
许过的承诺我就不会再去拿
因为我爱你呀
将思念碾成花有你的记忆干燥成瓶中沙
像沙漏般想着你滴滴答答
擦美丽的指甲喝你泡的茶
原来幸福可以这么优雅

不管多大风沙路多分岔我也一样找到你呀
管它风怎么刮管雨就怎么下
越痛我就越来越潇洒
不摘不属于自己的花
喔爱闪着泪光为你我可以当傻瓜

这风景如画开满凤凰凤凰花
院子里花撒浇灌着那种情话
等我们的通话等誓言落下

用手中的流沙画一个你呀
会说过的永远我们一定不会擦
我的青春开始在喧哗
因为大声说爱你而沙哑

用手中流沙轻描着你的脸颊
也答应说好的未来决不会重画
许过的承诺我就不会再去拿
因为我爱你呀
周杰伦+袁咏琳-画沙
用手中的流沙画一个你呀
会说过的永远我们一定不会擦
我的青春开始在喧哗
因为大声说爱你而沙哑

用手中流沙轻描着你的脸颊
也答应说好的未来决不会重画
许过的承诺我就不会再去拿
因为我爱你呀

Tuesday 8 September 2009

A little lost at times

I'm always making dreams, in my head. Thinking it over, playing mis and match to all the things that I see in it. Sometimes I would think, what's the point of this? I am living here, days gone, months following. But none to realize my dreams. But I might be wrong, a friend said. He told me, it's important to have a dream, to have a goal, to keep you moving ahead. And in the end of the day, I should be doing things that's congruent with my goals. Loose the strap. Yeah, I guess he's right. I got a little motivated after his speech. I haven't given much thought into things that I should be doing, and have done a long time ago. I fear that none of my dreams would be realized, and I would live in failure for the rest of my life. One day, I wouldn't want to look back at my life, knowing I had been living in my dream but done nothing and despise at the fact that I have an opportunity/ even opportunities but letting it go to soothe my evil temptations. NO. I don't want that to be a part of me.

I love sleeping so much. That I spent most of my available time lying on the bed, dreaming. It's funny that I remembered of what a friend said to another friend of mine. That "You would have all the time to sleep after death". That's definitely inspiring. hoho.

Monday 24 August 2009

What's next in Life?

I received a call, at 1 past midnight. Before pressing the green button, I wondered why would somebody call from the other side of the world, at this time, to me? The first word he uttered, I thought he was drunk. Nah, he was not. Definitely. He shoved the phone to another girl. Which conversation dreaded on for 15 minutes, which is then I realized, she felt awkward.

Why? What is wrong then? Because she is living in a life I once had, and the life that I had enjoyed most during my studious period. Carefree, I have nothing to think about that time. Just mere enjoyment, and spending my precious moment, with him. After hanging up, I thought, to myself. Why am I still reminiscing of the past? It is time to move forward, far beyond what I am doing now. It took me couple of months of hell, to bring a leg forward, but another would not budge. It just stood there, waiting for me to drop and drag me behind again, once and for all.

But hell no, I'm not going to let that happen. No I am not. I should have start real plans, plans that will keep me occupied for the rest of my years? Nah. Just 10 would be enough.

I looked at fb, some pictures, and thought, "wow", what is it like to be like....them?? Am I not happy with myself, I questioned. Justifying myself again. I am happy, but not satisfied. Because "Next" in life; which is something I had not found yet. So abstract, yet at my fingertips. Just at the snap of my fingers, I would walk ahead. What I need, should be courage, persistency. and LOVE.

I love ME

Sunday 23 August 2009

What do you think LOVE is?

There are thousands of songs, movies out there singing about love, sweet and sour at times. Some heart-breaking, while giving you the strength when you need it. Couples that are in love smiled listening to them, those heart-broken cried when they go near it.

I have met many that were once head-over-heels over each other. Everything was perfect, love was in the air. But once you turn your head, the other half turned their backs, and walk away. Their hearts followed, and you cried towards the night, begging for their return. But hearts made of stones, will never ever spare another moment for you. Days turned into nights; eyes swollened; hearts painfully throbbing asking for forgiveness; and in the end, nothing matters anymore.

I could not understand; what love meant to them; those hearts made of stones. I felt hurt. Because I couldn't help her. And I know, she suffered. She might still have sleepless nights, eyes bore into the dark; thinking what she might have done wrong to be treated this way. Probably she had done something that made him left her, without a goodbye, just ignorance. My friend, wouldn't you want to get an explanation, at the very least? And leave the past back, once and for all? Because, for a woman, you deserve a better man. Someone who would love you as much as you did. Because, when a man changed, he is not who he was anymore, and do not hope for his return, for he will break your heart once again.

I am in no position to comment nor criticize. Because I wasn't in your shoes, and you definitely would know better, than to drag on a meaningless relationship.

You once had that love, and loved deeply. You both knew, what you both once had. And let it remain as a beautiful memory in your hearts. Let it go, so that you could once live again. I wish you happiness, and I will always be here for you.

Friday 21 August 2009

426 days being together - Part2

Over the time, we studied together. He taught me his language, and I taught him mine. He would stand await for me whenever I am having classes. We would then head to lunch together. I grew fatter over time and could not fit into my tight jeans. He would then console me, telling me alls right, for he loves me for who I am, and not what I am. I fell in love once again.

Then it was time he wanted to introduce me to his parents. I met them and they liked me but did not know. Then he told them and they were shocked; for he is the eldest son in the family and have many responsibilities to fulfill. But religion remain as the biggest obstacle, for they are faithful Christian believers. I told him to “trust” and “be patient” because I have faith that our parents will trust us too in the future.


Our last day together, he did not send me off because he could not bear to see me leave. on the night before my departure, we talked, cried and laughed for hours till our eyes were swollen and our voices hoarsed. Tissues lied across the floor. That night, his parents treated me to dinner and we hugged before I left.

We fought when we were angry, laughed when we were happy, and we were always there for each other when we were having our hardtimes. We had love for 426 days, and it will always be the same for the next and forever the next 426 days.

426 days being together - Part1

The day we met, he taught me the meaning of love, I who thought love was just as simple as telling each other, "I love you". I was wrong because from then I learnt that love is about "trust" "forgiveness" "understanding".

The first time I felt touched, when he chose to love and protect me from far. Because he knows that I will be going back one day. I could not bear to see him in pain alone, So i decided that we will face this, together.

Our first date was at the Park. The weather turned cold suddenly and he put his jacket over me but shivered himself. Tears formed in my eyes and I then held his hands, to give him warmth. I felt shy and my cheeks turned from pink to red. He then tightened his grip and my heart beat faster and harder and would not stop no matter how hard i've tried.

Thursday 20 August 2009

~Our Love Story~

Having a long-distance relationship is really not an easy thing. You tend to miss him so much that you come to having sleepless nights. Well, it had not been that case for me. At least not now I guess. This couple of days, I had been crying a lot at nights. It happens when I missed him greatly throughout the night, and when he called, my tears just poured down with me repeating how much I have missed him that night. And I never wanted to let him end the call, trying so hard at times dragging the conversation longer so he wouldn't wish me good nights and I could continue listening to his soft voice. Sometimes conversations ended with fights and I would cry for a couple of hours, got mad at him for treating me like this, send him loads of text messages blaming him so I could get back at him. He would apologize the next day, and my world spin round and round again.

We took 2 months falling in love, 7 months being together, 8 months parting from each other, and probably a few more years waiting for each others return. Sometimes I would even question myself, will 7 months of love worth 7 years of waiting? What will happen in between? Will he leave me one day? What will I do then? And everything seems so ridiculous because right at this moment, he's my precious and we belongs to each other.

I never regret loving him, Because I only regret I could not be right beside him, supporting him. But sometimes I thought this separation are meant to be for the both of us, because so will bring our heart closer, this separation puts the test on us.

I have threaten him a few times, to leave him. But never uttering the two words. But once, I became weak, and wanted to give up, and it was him, he who brought us back together once again. It was a short period of time, but had taken my soul away.

Darling, I am sorry. Will you forgive me once again for being so weak? I love you.

Wednesday 22 July 2009

Resume or Bed?

Which seems appetizing? Resume or bed? I'm going two thumbs up for bed, bit my lips, held one back and put another for resume. Why? What's wrong? My thoughts :Who wouldn't go for bed?: , it's salivating, appetizing, inviting. Before i rattle on and on, I would just have to stick on to resume for the rest of the hour, modify an existing one, and quickjump to bed ASAP! Yes! why? why? With the ongoing, useless debate of resume and bed? Firstly, I'm terribly emotional now to start with. I sat in front of the computer, a U-shaped T-bone, two puffy eyes, a far-away sweet paradise. Secondly, I'm stuck. With what? With work, homework, assignments, projects, blogs, fb, tweets, ongoing list. Who said students are enjoying life? Try coming back to this? One of these days I'm so going to start the debate on "Work or studies". Thirdly, going for a walk-in interview in 2 days. No certificates, no resume, no nothing. Just me, and my mouth. So WHO AM I TO CONVINCE? Well no cursing, one thing for sure. So i'm going for resume. And this goes to the end of today.

Tuesday 21 July 2009

Missing out tid-bits of life

Couldn't help but to think that I missed a tiny part of life. It isn't as perfect as I had pictured. Always doubting, always afraid of what I might encounter in the future. Buts, Ifs, Dont think so , therefore, the thoughts that held me back. At every portion of life, I want to break a little piece outta me, splatter it across, so when Im lost, I could find the trail to Myself. My tid-bits.

Monday 20 July 2009

Morning =)

It's 10 in the morning. Slept at 4 in the morn, as usual. Went to class and skipped breakfast. Now chasing after my fav drama :Jumong:. However, it's a little bored. Holy god, I missed 20 episodes. Left it at home. Now have to go through the endless thoughts of story in the middle. Hanging on to the movie now. Ciao

Sunday 19 July 2009

A day with Music

Slept throughout the night. Haven't had such a good sleep in the week. Well, what could I say? Feeling there are lots of thing yet to do. Doesn't have the time to relax. Paradise aren't here yet. However, today i decided to lay my fingers on piano. Which I ... yes .. procrastinated throughout previous years. There's this thump in my heart, a little painful, of the memories I used to have with my mentor. He's the best mentor I have ever met. Unfortunately, he have to return to his country years ago. He taught me with all his heart. Never held back his skills. He was so stern, yet so kind. The first thump came, when I realized I might have disappoint him. The second thump came, when I doesn't know where to meet him anymore. I miss you, prof. A lot. I want to repay the kindness you gave me. I want the chance again to prove to you that I am good and your effort are not in vain. Could I see you again? Music and you .....

Friday 17 July 2009

One in the morning

Felt like spilling out my feelings. A little emotional, a little shaky. I told myself I shouldn't procrastinate anymore; but i failed. I tend to lose grasp of myself easily. An hour ago, I felt like cursing. Cursing everything that's getting in my way. Hell no. I kept my mouth shut. I held back. Yes I did. Because what the heck, this is life! I should get back to work this moment. Else not my gut would be shaken and i would perhaps curse that a**hole! Oops.....

Thursday 16 July 2009

I am afraid of your THOUGHTS

What do most ppl fear in life? Prolly you might have minor fears. Some have phobias. Some are too afraid that they push it back into their mind. But brains are very unique. The more you try to disguise yourself, the more you will reveal. Outsiders might not notice the tiny difference in you. Don't expect them to, because they are not you.

What am I afraid of ?? I do not have to crack my brains up or bring it to the operating table to do experiments on them; because my brain alerts me, and even played around with my hormones to send me information. Sometimes it heats up my blood temperature, causing my heart to thump hard against my chest. Then, I know my fear.

It is a bad experience not to listen to your brains. Or to un-acknowledge them; no matter in what sense. Why Einstein became Einstein?? Or L.D.Vinci became L.D.Vinci?? Why are you even thinking of being one of them? Lastly, why you can't just be solely yourself?

These days, I understood what was my biggest fear. And what most of the people out there who are facing the similar problems. I am afraid of YOU. Yes, you are reading it right! IT IS YOU. I talk to make you happy, write to make you satisfied, afraid to make you look bad, fear to tell you who I am. Today, I am taking off my mask, so I could live; in a world so perceptual, so judgemental. What about you?

Saturday 7 March 2009

An end to ASEAN Student Exchange Batch 2008

Sad but true, the trip to Korea had ended. I missed those times badly. I know, we have to move on, I knew. Prolly this is the reason this is memorable for each & everyone of us, being back where we belong. I made new friends, I knew things that I would never have cared in the past. I found the one i truly love, I do not have any idea where we would be in the next few years, but I cared and still cares, and it's deep down inside me.