What's next in Life?

I received a call, at 1 past midnight. Before pressing the green button, I wondered why would somebody call from the other side of the world, at this time, to me? The first word he uttered, I thought he was drunk. Nah, he was not. Definitely. He shoved the phone to another girl. Which conversation dreaded on for 15 minutes, which is then I realized, she felt awkward.

Why? What is wrong then? Because she is living in a life I once had, and the life that I had enjoyed most during my studious period. Carefree, I have nothing to think about that time. Just mere enjoyment, and spending my precious moment, with him. After hanging up, I thought, to myself. Why am I still reminiscing of the past? It is time to move forward, far beyond what I am doing now. It took me couple of months of hell, to bring a leg forward, but another would not budge. It just stood there, waiting for me to drop and drag me behind again, once and for all.

But hell no, I'm not going to let that happen. No I am not. I should have start real plans, plans that will keep me occupied for the rest of my years? Nah. Just 10 would be enough.

I looked at fb, some pictures, and thought, "wow", what is it like to be like....them?? Am I not happy with myself, I questioned. Justifying myself again. I am happy, but not satisfied. Because "Next" in life; which is something I had not found yet. So abstract, yet at my fingertips. Just at the snap of my fingers, I would walk ahead. What I need, should be courage, persistency. and LOVE.

I love ME