Resume or Bed?

Which seems appetizing? Resume or bed? I'm going two thumbs up for bed, bit my lips, held one back and put another for resume. Why? What's wrong? My thoughts :Who wouldn't go for bed?: , it's salivating, appetizing, inviting. Before i rattle on and on, I would just have to stick on to resume for the rest of the hour, modify an existing one, and quickjump to bed ASAP! Yes! why? why? With the ongoing, useless debate of resume and bed? Firstly, I'm terribly emotional now to start with. I sat in front of the computer, a U-shaped T-bone, two puffy eyes, a far-away sweet paradise. Secondly, I'm stuck. With what? With work, homework, assignments, projects, blogs, fb, tweets, ongoing list. Who said students are enjoying life? Try coming back to this? One of these days I'm so going to start the debate on "Work or studies". Thirdly, going for a walk-in interview in 2 days. No certificates, no resume, no nothing. Just me, and my mouth. So WHO AM I TO CONVINCE? Well no cursing, one thing for sure. So i'm going for resume. And this goes to the end of today.

Missing out tid-bits of life

Couldn't help but to think that I missed a tiny part of life. It isn't as perfect as I had pictured. Always doubting, always afraid of what I might encounter in the future. Buts, Ifs, Dont think so , therefore, the thoughts that held me back. At every portion of life, I want to break a little piece outta me, splatter it across, so when Im lost, I could find the trail to Myself. My tid-bits.

Morning =)

It's 10 in the morning. Slept at 4 in the morn, as usual. Went to class and skipped breakfast. Now chasing after my fav drama :Jumong:. However, it's a little bored. Holy god, I missed 20 episodes. Left it at home. Now have to go through the endless thoughts of story in the middle. Hanging on to the movie now. Ciao

A day with Music

Slept throughout the night. Haven't had such a good sleep in the week. Well, what could I say? Feeling there are lots of thing yet to do. Doesn't have the time to relax. Paradise aren't here yet. However, today i decided to lay my fingers on piano. Which I ... yes .. procrastinated throughout previous years. There's this thump in my heart, a little painful, of the memories I used to have with my mentor. He's the best mentor I have ever met. Unfortunately, he have to return to his country years ago. He taught me with all his heart. Never held back his skills. He was so stern, yet so kind. The first thump came, when I realized I might have disappoint him. The second thump came, when I doesn't know where to meet him anymore. I miss you, prof. A lot. I want to repay the kindness you gave me. I want the chance again to prove to you that I am good and your effort are not in vain. Could I see you again? Music and you .....

One in the morning

Felt like spilling out my feelings. A little emotional, a little shaky. I told myself I shouldn't procrastinate anymore; but i failed. I tend to lose grasp of myself easily. An hour ago, I felt like cursing. Cursing everything that's getting in my way. Hell no. I kept my mouth shut. I held back. Yes I did. Because what the heck, this is life! I should get back to work this moment. Else not my gut would be shaken and i would perhaps curse that a**hole! Oops.....

I am afraid of your THOUGHTS

What do most ppl fear in life? Prolly you might have minor fears. Some have phobias. Some are too afraid that they push it back into their mind. But brains are very unique. The more you try to disguise yourself, the more you will reveal. Outsiders might not notice the tiny difference in you. Don't expect them to, because they are not you.

What am I afraid of ?? I do not have to crack my brains up or bring it to the operating table to do experiments on them; because my brain alerts me, and even played around with my hormones to send me information. Sometimes it heats up my blood temperature, causing my heart to thump hard against my chest. Then, I know my fear.

It is a bad experience not to listen to your brains. Or to un-acknowledge them; no matter in what sense. Why Einstein became Einstein?? Or L.D.Vinci became L.D.Vinci?? Why are you even thinking of being one of them? Lastly, why you can't just be solely yourself?

These days, I understood what was my biggest fear. And what most of the people out there who are facing the similar problems. I am afraid of YOU. Yes, you are reading it right! IT IS YOU. I talk to make you happy, write to make you satisfied, afraid to make you look bad, fear to tell you who I am. Today, I am taking off my mask, so I could live; in a world so perceptual, so judgemental. What about you?