I M back dear friends

As many of my friends who knows me, I always blog when I'm so so emo with no place to turn to. I was trying to make this blogging thingy a habit but I somehow stopped after some incident that happened in the past year. (I wanted to keep a low profile though) It has been a long time since I blog, especially for now I'm in Korea, and I lost almost half of my English proficiency already. So kindly bear with me *sob sob*

It had been 4 months since I left Malaysia to S.Korea. (It's not in war, not anytime soon so don't freak out). In recent months, I was caught up in countless personal problems that I frigging didn't have the time to slow down, and think. I guess I just got really afraid of being here for another 3 years and miss all the things that I treasure back home. I totally get the idea that everybody's life has got highs and lows , but why is mine fluctuating? Gosh! That irritates me!

Well, I was supposed to blog bout my life here right? I remember I was so used to using profanity(to make it seems more interesting) when I blogged in the past but it just seems that my age wouldn't allow me to anymore. *Sob again* I basically go to classes , come back from classes, hang out with friends, hibernates recently, doing VERY little amount of homework, and watching amazingly LOTS of dramas. Well, that's what a student does anyway. I feel so lost *slaps* Too much time, too little things to do. Pathetically true.

So what do i do to fill in as my hobby? I hang out in lots of cafes to begin with. And lots of pubs to end with. But this is a new year, so I won't want to be doing what I had been doing. Else I might as well bore myself to deathhhhh ....

A new year, A new resolution , New goals, all these will begin with mastering korean language!

Ohhh for those who still doesn't know what the hell I'm doing in S.Korea yet. Well, I'm doing my master studies here. Yeah, I know what are you thinking. Just accept the fact that I'm in Korea for god's sake.

Oh god! I've been staying up late for the past few days that I'm not feeling one bit sleepy *wing wing* This would be a long long night to go ..........

I've gotten myself a perm! I love it so much that I would be doing this for god knows how long. heheehe

First snow in Korea 2 months ago. It was freaking cold my feet actually goes numb. I thought my toes was about to break off. Thank god it's intact and I'm still in one piece.

p.s. I used to draft and revise before publishing my post but I'm too lazy to do it anymore. Sorry guys =(

행복의 멜로디

A beautiful melody which I am, humming softly in my head, reminiscing our memory, tasting it slowly, so that it will never have to end, so that I will always remember your soft voice, lame jokes, the old smell that I misses so much. Our melody, began when we first met at this small restaurant. Two little strangers in a strange place, a place I couldn't call home. I do remember, every little thing you said, every action you took, which took my heart away and all I could ever do was to look at you, and you only. I love having to wake up early in the morning, to give you a morning call. I love when you make me angry by going to bed again. Then I could have the green card to shout with tears streaming down my face, and you would sit opposite me, holding my hands beholding your silence. You would then tell me you will never do it again (which you still do) and call me cute pabo. This is our beautiful melody, even better than my favorite "taeyang's wedding dress". tsk tsk.

Love it when you carry me on your back, (although I'm super heavy), sat beside the river, talking, laughing, holding hands. And how you tried to hide your model car in my room from your mum, and how I forced you to choose between me and that car. Oh my god how much more jealous could I get over a model car?


I loved it most when you once, took a pen out, drew a ring on my finger in the public bus. And when you said you didn't care when others were looking at us, smirking and giggling, because you were only looking at me, which at that moment, took my heart away, once and for all.


Didn't gave thought that true love exist till I met you, so afraid that one day when I wake up, finding all this to be nothing more but than a beautiful dream. If this is what it is, I never want to wake up, because the place where you are is my melody. Ling, you never fail to hold my hand whenever I felt weak. When the world turn their back on me, but you, only you will have trust in me. I just love, this and the only ling. Because this is where I found the melody of happiness.
 
 

 

Melody of happiness

It had been months since I last came here. Had a strong urge to drop a post tonight. Well I stopped posting personal stuff, thoughts ever since some anonymous stalker tried making my life difficult. Felt it might had been best-off that I leave glorysanity as it is. But I do, do do miss spilling out here as I had been. No matter if I'm labelled as emo, rude, insensible and guess what, my blog is still messy as usual.

WOO HOOoooo ... these months of hardwork (is that so) had left me beyond recognizable state. Well, daddy and mummy always say the effort you put in is what you will get. YIP YIP HURRAY!! I'm officially a home-worm right now! Hell no, I pride on it. Don't you get jealouuusss. boo hoo. But at last I had the feeling that my effort had been rewarded, although I kept stressing this might not be the path I had chosen to take, however making me stronger.

Yeah definitely would like to take the opportunity (wth so formal?lol) here to thank those who had been supporting me all this while, always there to listen to me, and held me when I'm about to fall, where there's no place like home, no people like family, and no guy like jim ... (err .. from afar?) hehehe. I LOVE YOU GUYS =)

말도 없이 - 나인스트릿 (9th STREET)

Lyrics for "You're Beautiful" OST, 말도 없이.

말도 없이-나인스트릿(9th STREET)

Download 말도 없이.mp3

KOREAN
하지말걸 그랬어 모른척 해버릴걸
안보이는 것처럼 볼수없는 것처럼
널 아예 보지말 걸 그랬나봐

도망칠 걸 그랬어 못들은척 그럴걸
듣지도 못하는 척 들을 수 없는 것처럼

아예 네 사랑 듣지 않을 걸

말도없이 사랑을 알게 하고 말도 없이 사랑을 내게 주고

숨결 하나조차 널 담게 해놓고 이렇게 도망가니까

말도없이 사랑이 나를떠나 말도없이 사랑이 나를 버려

무슨 말을 할지 다문 입이 혼자서 놀란것 같아 말도 없이 와서

왜 이렇게 아픈지 왜 자꾸만 아픈지

널 볼수 없다는거 네가 없다는거 말고

모두 예전과 똑같은건데

말도없이 사랑을 알게 하고 말도없이 사랑을 내게주고

숨결 하나조차 널 담게 해놓고 이렇게 도망가니까

말도없이 사랑이 나를떠나 말도없이 사랑이 나를버려

무슨말을 할지 다문입이 혼자서 놀란것 같아

말도없이 눈물이 흘러내려 말도없이 가슴이 무너져가

말도없는 사랑을 기다리고 말도없는 사랑을 아파하고

넋이 나가버려 바보가 되버려 하늘만 보고 우니까

말도없이 이별이 나를찾아 말도없이 이별이 내게와서

준비도 못하고 너를 보내야하는 내맘이 놀란것 같아 말도없이 와서

말도없이 왔다가 말도없이 떠나는

지나간 열병처럼 잠시 아프면 되나봐

자꾸 흉터만 남게되니까

Things I hate

Blogging had always ... always been my last resort everytime I felt "BLUE" --> my latest selection of words. PPL call this "EMO"! Hell yeah you're right. I'm the most EMO type of girl you will see. OR prolly leave your number, and I will resort to calling YOU instead.

** Things that get onto my nerves **



1) MORONS

What about MORON + SSSSS ?? One thing, they never fail to get onto my nerves. Having too much of a conversation with these MORONS inadvertently change me into one too. And what? The best solution is to keep your mouth shut, act timid, be polite and SMILEEEE. Sigh ... Social Intelligence had never been this tough. There goes my student life. Bye.



2) Sleeping Habit

As much as I had been trying to be a diligent student, I switched my sleeping time to the old-fashioned, conservative, sleeping before 12 AM manner. I always blame my obnoxious habit of sleeping in the early morning to jet-lag. No more excuses after being back from korea for a year now.



3) Calls during Sleeping Beauty dream

AS I mentioned in point 2, which I purposely added this, is I totally HATE people calling me on my cell in the night, as night as after 12 AM in the MORNING night! What the HELL. I nonit sleep ar now? Be courteous la wth wth. Totally forgiven if it's an emergency. Totally suck up if it's to ask "HOW ARE YOU DOING?" Because this is only OK if it's JIM.

So many many infinity times I thought it was my alarm, and wth it's already morning and I have to wake up. Imagine me looking at my phone, brain-studded at some kaki-pagi names. Once is enough! YOU , YES YOU never fail to call at least THREE TIMES before giving up! So puhhhlleeezzz don't call me early in the morning ... *begging*. Unless you got robbed, or prolly stranded in some island, chased by dogs, JUST broke-up with ur gf/bf (mind the JUST. Breaking up for a month already will not be accepted), owe me $$,  owe you $$.

Ok well, to sum this all, I hate being disturbed WHEN I'm sleeping though =)



4) Mean Gossipers

Ok, I added a mean right at the front SO it doesn't apply to me. I am the most courteous GOSSIPERS you will ever encounter. I hate gossipers who have nothing to do but to gossip all day long. Who and who broke up, who got together with who, who did this, who did that. None of your business. And I hate it the most when you come asking me about WHO. Those are the what you call as "patpohs". Get a life.

MEAN gossipers. They are those who will never fail to spread rumours about you, mind you, it's fake rumours. Enjoy making your life miserable, and clap their hands when you fall. Stalk you on your facebook, blogs, leaving ugly comments to make themselves look miserable. NO, I won't do things you do. Because if I do, it would make no difference between YOU and ME. Well, it's the bottom line, do not cross it then.



5) Movies

I lurveeeeeeee MOVIES, OHHH YESS I DO! I was movie freak. From west to east, I never miss out on any movies, never to mention DRAMAS, oooo I LOVE THEM so. I spent my life in campus, at home, during lunch, dinner, lectures catching up to the latest drama. Ohhh especially the korean ones. I love it so much because it never fail to make me feel emotional, tear-stricken at the climax, smile and laugh as they do, feel lovey-dovey when they "pattoh". This is how I spent my life as a student. While other students are covering their noses in books, I cover mine in dramas.



Yes yes why hate it now!!?? Because YOU made my parents scold me for wasting my time, my friends laughed at me for being a movie-freak, so so lonely coz I could'T find another movie-freak like myself, spent time in front of the laptop instead of the mirror, worsen my eyesight turning from 100 to 250, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I couldn't catch up to you ANYMORE. WHILE everybody's talking bout how good 2012 was, I am left out in the dark, banging my head to the wall b'coz I had not the chance to watch it yet. What more else AVATAR!!! YOU totally gave me a BAD DAY, BAD MONTH! I wanted to watch YOU so so so much but couldn't find time to spare. I hate YOU.


That's all for the time being. Will add more into the list when I think of any =)

Trapped

Everyday, at the same hour, same minute, when the clock ticks at 12am, my heart makes a loud thump, beat faster, me crumpling into my bed, head winging.

Afraid of looking back, fear of the future, nervous with what's waiting for me at the other side of the fence. I'm TRAPPED. I couldn't move back, neither gather enough courage to move forward. Afraid one wrong move will bring me nowhere, and everything would be in vain. I hate myself, being so timid, petty, indecisive. I even fear the fish, well-cooked, well-served on the table. Afraid of choking on the fish bone again, crying my lungs out thinking I'm gonna die for sure *I was young for god's sake!* Avoided fish with bones, therefore under-developed brain. *pity*

TICK TOCK. It's 12.

Trapped !

Thinking back of the stuff I had done for the day. And the blunders I had made. So depressive at that thought.

Gathering courage, because tomorrow is always filled with hope. =)

Father Forgets

FATHER FORGETS

PART 2

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years. 

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these feelings if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tougue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual : "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yes as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

**************************************************************

How many, how many have cried in the shadow, unable to meet up to your parent's expectations? How many turned green when your daddy ask you to show him your report card? How many turn into rebellious teenagers just to get back at them for making you look timid? BUT how many could understand the love they shower over us? 

Because you don't understand their perception, YOU SHOUTED and said you have generation gaps. YOU SHOUTED and say they are old-fashioned, out-dated, mood-spoilers, and they dont understand you! Do you? Do you even understand yourself? 

You smoke, you club, you drink, you fail every single paper in college. So this is you?

Whenever you have the opportunity, take a step back, ask yourself, what could you do for your parents, if you could love them as much as they loves you. If you could also be in their shoes for a minute, think from their perspective, then you will know how much they had sacrificed for you. 

I LOVE YOU, DADDY AND MUMMY!!!!!